


And the Blame goes to

by QumquatQuiet



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, I blame my friend completely, I don't know, I'm not sure if this counts as an orgy, Light Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Nothing TOO graphic?, Nudity, Oh my gosh, Unique pairings, a few hundred fairies and one winter spirit, i have no idea what this is, old fashioned views, shrugs, stalker Fairies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 23:29:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QumquatQuiet/pseuds/QumquatQuiet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three drabbles of extreme Rise of the Guardians crack pairings. I was inspired by my friend to write these. In fact I think she hijacked my brain and made me write them. Hence why these drabbles feature Phil/Jack, the Fairies/Jack, and the Elves/Jack.</p>
<p>If it makes you all feel better, I think they're more humor than anything else. ^_^;</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Blame goes to

**Author's Note:**

> BLAME goes to touchinghearts! I lay this all on her feet. XD All of it. XD 
> 
> When I first watched the movie, I became a Pitch/Jack fan before it was even done. And I thought Tooth/Jack would be the sweetest thing ever. Then, after watching the movie again, and reading some fanfics, and watching some videos, I saw the appeal in Bunny/Jack.
> 
> So when I finally decided that I would write my own fanfiction for the movie, those were the pairings I was planning on doing. Instead, I've written a North/Jack pairing, and THIS.
> 
> Ah well, hope you like it anyways.
> 
> I don't own Rise of the Guardians, nor do I make any money off of this. It's strictly for fun.
> 
> While I do my best to keep the characters IN-character, I'm not William Joyce. I'm not the writers of Dreamworks either. So, the characters are a bit out of character. This is not helped by the fact that this is an AU. And crack.

DRABBLE 1:

Jack wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten into this situation. But, as his lover thrust into him again, Jack really didn't care. Afterwards, Phil stroked his smaller lover's stomach and nuzzled him with a soft murmur.

"Yeah, I love you too." Jack snuggled into him. Who would have ever thought that the head of North's security force and the main culprit for breaking into the workshop would end up falling for each other? Not Jack, that was for sure. But strangely enough, it seemed fitting. After all, at least Phil had always acknowledged him.

It hadn't always been good attention, but unlike the others Phil had never ignored him. He'd made the effort to get to know the winter spirit, and had become friends with the younger immortal. Even though Jack drove him to the brink sometimes, he always remained in Jack's life. So when the yeti had begun his courtship of Jack, the guardian of fun had accepted.

It had been worth it. All the trouble, the weirded out looks, Bunny's angst, (Jack still wasn't sure what had caused that), the love he felt with Phil was worth anything life threw their way. Now they just had to get out of this predicament. After all, while sex in a closet was surprisingly fun, being stuck in said closet really wasn't.

 

DRABBLE 2:

The fairies were stalking him again. Ever since Jack had become a guardian, the fairies had apparently taken it as carte blanche to follow him whenever they weren't working. Given that they did in fact need breaks from time to time, that was surprisingly often. Which was what led him to Tooth's palace. He needed to talk to her about the fairies, again.

Unfortunately, she wasn't there. Which probably meant that she was either out in the field herself, or that she was visiting one of the other guardians. Jack would try Bunny first, and if she wasn't there, then he'd come back to the palace to wait for her. He never even noticed the predatory looks on the fairies as they readied the miniature catapult they'd built just for this occassion. Jack never even knew what hit him.

When he woke up again, his clothes were in shreds around him, he was tied down, and it seemed that all the fairies that were currently not working were sliding their bodies against his. A sudden sensation made him arch his back as much as the ropes would allow him, and let out a breathy moan. Looking down, Jack's eyes widened as he saw several fairies, Baby Tooth in the lead, rubbing themselves against his manhood.

Jack didn't know if this was a more arousing or disturbing turn of events, but in all honesty he was too turned on to really care. Fifteen orgasms later, he was too tired to notice when Tooth got back. Or her horrified gasp as she took in the little catapult, the ropes, and the fairies rubbing themselves against her friend's body. It wasn't too hard for her to realize what had happened.

Shooing the fairies away, she immediately cut the ropes holding him, and helped him to sit up. Jack fell unconcious. Tooth gasped as she saw the back of Jack's head. The stone the fairies had used had cracked his head. From the expressions on her fairies' faces, that hadn't been supposed to happen. Tooth used a snow globe to get her and Jack to Bunny's warren, and told the pooka what she had come across.

The next time Jack woke up, it was in a tub of ice, Bunny sitting close by.

"Hey mate. How are yeh feelin'?" He asked, voice soft as he carefully checked the back of Jack's head.

"Better." Jack sat up slowly. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his legs.

"Did that really happen?"

Bunny didn't need to ask what 'that' was.

"Yeah. It did." He rubbed Jack's back soothingly as his fellow guardian dropped his head down onto his knees with a groan. Bunny was about to say something along the lines of how it would be okay, when exactly what Jack had groaned struck him.

"Wait, what?!" Bunny asked incredulously. Jack looked up at him, clearly at a loss.

"I said how is this going to work? I mean, you only have sex with someone you're going to marry. How am I going to be a husband to ALL of Tooth's fairies?!"

"All?" Bunny asked weakly.

Jack nodded. "We went fifteen rounds, so all of the ladies got some of me. But that's not important, what is is how can I be a good husband to them all? And how on earth am I going to propose?"

This . . . clearly was NOT Bunny's jurisdiction. 

 

DRABBLE 3:

The elves were being a pain again. Jack rolled his eyes in exasperation as yet another of the little nuisances jumped onto his leg. And started humping him. This was why he didn't come to North's workshop a lot. Thankfully, he could always count on Phil to come help him. Shaking his leg so that the elf fell off, Jack jumped up onto Phil's back. 

As they went outside, Jack grinned. He knew exactly where they were going. It was a little cave, that he'd found roughly a century ago. No one else knew about it besides Phil. And the yeti only came to the cave for one reason. Once they were in, Jack sealed up the entrance with ice, and stripped. 

Phil grunted in approval, and ran a hand down Jack's side with an aroused growl. The guardian of fun reached up and kissed him. Phil grabbed him close, and laid him down on the ground. They didn't have a lot of time, so this couldn't be a true coupling. Rubbing against each other, the cave soon grew warm with Phil's body heat.

Jack whimpered and panted as his lover's member rubbed against his own, and he pulled Phil down for another kiss. As they came, the ice barricading the cave melted, and they noticed the elves. All of them. Just standing there. Watching the yeti and winter spirit.

Well, this was a little awkward.

**Author's Note:**

> There shall be no sequel to any of these from me. And I'm not sure whether I should apologize for this, or not. ^_^;


End file.
